People

I feel like writing something epic right now, but I'm falling asleep. So basically, I'll just say this in, what I like to call, "3rd grade sentences."

So....I love my friends. They're the most amazing people in the world. My family isn't exactly a group of people I really fit in with, but my friends are amazing. Especially the ones from church. You guys are amazing =]

Another Poem

I wish I could tell you how I often I hear your voice in my head
The way I replay everything you said

How much I miss those long conversations
The ones who have effected who I am today
Those things I know, if you had the chance, again you’d never say

I’m looking out into the setting sun behind the ocean waves
Oh how I want to run
Until I’m where ever you are
No matter how far

But I know you don’t really want me there
You’d turn and run the other way
And there you’d stay

We’ve always been unbalanced
Like a miniscule motorboat in a deep ocean storm
But now that little boat is torn in half
You made it to land, but I’m still lost at sea
Where ever you are is where I want to be
But what do I do when that’s not where you want me?

Don’t you see how much you matter?
My world has turned to an endless starless night
I can’t hide the fright
Or the desire to be with you
I only wish you’d ache for me too

The way I miss you is becoming unbearable
They say let go, they don’t say how
I wonder how you are right now
Do you ever think of me?
Or what we could be?

I’ve offered you all that’s left
Any part you want is yours
Now I’m stuck here waiting and wondering
Hoping someday I’ll be what you’re looking for
Wishing my heart would ache no more
Please come back to me
You’re all this heart can ever see
All this head is ever filled with
The most important thing in these eyes

Florida?

Okay. So....it's Saturday night. Pretty close to 10:30. If it was a normal Saturday night I'd be excited for church tomorrow. But I don't get to go to church for two weeks because I'm going to Florida. Most people would be excited to go, I'm not. I'm totally dreading the long car ride and I don't like being away from home. I have these weird little moods sometimes where I'm all panicking and upset and it's not fun. And their worse when I'm away from home.

Plus, my family enjoys drama. I don't feel like I fit in with any of them except my sister and one of my cousin's, which sucks.

I know I should be excited, and I know lots of people wish they could go, but I'm just not.

I look up at the sky

I look up at the sky
I don't see a single star
I'm longing to be where you are
This starless night
Is just another fight
A battle to get along without you
To remember that my Father's promise holds true
That he will never leave me
But the end is something my weary heart can't see
How can I believe?
How can I hold strong
When all else goes wrong?
I want to believe
I want to hold strong
But happiness feels so wrong
Without you here by my side
I fear I won't see the end to this bumpy ride
You meant so much
My heart misses your warm touch
Those kind words you once spoke
Are now like rising fading smoke
I wonder if what you said was true
If your heart believed it too
If you really cared
If you regret all those secrets you shared
I want you back
I'm sure you're doing just fine
Could you ever be mine?
You don't understand the heart ache
The smiles I fake
The way I'm crying inside
Where do we go from here?
I just can't let go things I've held dear
So close to my heart
Tearing it apart

Poem...

This is something I’ve written over and over

You’re unexplainable

Awful and great

Some one I love

And some one I hate

There were good times and bad

And experiences I’d never had

The way we talked about everything

How you knew my every dream

Then the good times ended

With the hostility and apathy you showed

Put more pain in the goodbye

As I was left alone to cry

Again I say this

Again it won’t matter

Again I want you

But again I sit here

With my heart in two